Sehnzucht

So this is what it feels like, and this is what it means

This thing that I cannot explain and you cannot believe.

Colors caught and frozen on a canvas

The last light of the sunset on the sea

Raw aching thrill in tune with strangled instinct

The shadows of an uncreated thing.

Foaming whisper of the wind-wracked ocean

Salty sea-stung air inside your eyes

Coal black outline of a deathless dragon

Scratched on ancient walls before all time.

This is the blinding secret, the world will never know.

I realize I cannot hold on but I will not let go.

Crash of rain and fire-splintered sky

The wide calm of deep places in the dark

Fractious craving of a dim illusion

The story that will break and bleed your heart.

The slicing storm that knocks you in the face

And leaves you with bewildered breathless laughter

The smoking mist that seizes on the day

And stains the summer sky forever-after.

Intangible intensity that burns without a name,

This thing that will not show its face and will not go away.

The dying spirit of the soaring wave

That hangs between two fleeting beats of time

Ecstatic sickness of a stifled brain

Still searching for a thing it cannot find.

A diamond with a thousand gleaming facets

A shadow in a giant’s magic mirror

You wash the glass with tears of desperation

And sell your life to try and see it clearer.

This is the awful promise since before the world began.

You know you have to listen and you have to understand.

Strange sweet smell of blossoms in the darkness

Flash of dancing feet on marble floors

That lilting tune that you cannot remember

You know that it will never let you go.

Echo of long-dead laughter in the dawning

Glancing moonlight on an ancient blade

The half-forgotten heart of bleeding fire

That cast the stars before the world was made.

Is it right for us to wonder, is it wrong to question why?

This thing that it is not within the world to satisfy.

Running till your shattered body breaks

Thirsty wolf lunging behind the sun

A shadow sun forever shifting shape

And none of it will ever be enough.

And every glimpse is burning with desire

Magnetic whirling, crush and suck you in

Flicker of lonely longing, cutting fierce

You want it without knowing what it is.

Lethal virus, just ahead, almost close enough to touch

But you’re going round in circles and you’re never catching up.

You can modify your tactics, turn and run the other way

But there is no neutral zoning so you’ll never get away.